Control issues? Yeah right…not me. I was the cool girl, going with flow, easy does it type of demeanor.
I hadn’t met “my man”, but hey….life was All Good. I was traveling internationally for work and play, dictating my own schedule, hitting live music venues by night and meeting friends for coffee by day.
And…I still hadn’t met “my man.” It actually wasn’t All Good. That big burning and churning desire of which year after year had failed to be met, continued to hang over my joy and subtly dictate most every decision I made- relationship based or not.
It entered the decision making on where to meet friends for coffee… could “He” be at this coffee shop or that one? It infringed upon my joy at weddings, whether I would go or not, alone or with a date? It nearly broke my relationship with my mother more times than I care to count because she was clearly concerned about her daughter being single for the rest of her life while I was getting really good at controlling just about every aspect of my life to actually be in the right place at the right time to find Mr. Perfect.
And then I stopped. I stopped searching for “Him” and starting living for Me. I became aware that my desire to find “My man” was actually a much deeper desire to find happiness within me. When I got clear on my truest desires and started making decisions based on own my joy and happiness, that’s when my life started to flow. That’s when I truly started to become and feel like the cool, easy-going gal.
That’s exactly when “My man” appeared right before my eyes.
Do you have a desire lurking on the back burner and not getting met? Are you on a big search for love? a better job? a more attractive figure?
I get it. It’s a big conundrum between holding on and letting go, though with clarity and awareness into ourselves, we don’t have to suffer through either one.
I’m here for you.
In joy, peace and patience,